Highly Sensitive Persons and Empaths

The phrase ‘Highly Sensitive Person’, or HSP, was originally coined by Dr Elaine Aron and describes people with specific psychological attributes. ‘Sensitive’ does not mean neurotic or paranoid or taking things personally, it relates to our ability to pick up and sense subtleties and changes, whether related to language, emotions, energy or patterns of behaviour.

An HSP sees things more deeply and processes things to a greater degree than is typical, meaning they see and sense connections that others might not. They may connect events and behaviours more easily, meaning they often see the ‘big picture’ more clearly and earlier than others and identify consequences which family and colleagues may not.

But this can actually make life really hard if they don’t realise that other people don’t see the world this way. An HSP may feel that others are blind to ‘obvious’ differences or are too superficial, which can make them feel very out of place in the world. Competitive environments or busy, noisy offices or groups where criticism, judgement and pressure are commonplace can be a living hell for someone who is HSP. Their senses can feel like they are bombarded and overwhelmed, so they often try to steer clear of busy shopping centres, for example, or concerts and cinemas. Smaller, closer groups or depth conversations with individuals can work better for them.

HSPs also tend to be very empathic and compassionate. Their ability to see and feel differently and in a wide variety of ways makes them able to appreciate how other people are feeling, so they naturally have high levels of empathy. But for some people this empathy is raised to a whole new level and they are what is referred to as an Empath. If someone had a headache, for example, an Empath may literally feel a pain in their own head but not know that it wasn’t their own headache.

So an Empath has an extra set of difficulties. Imagine going into a busy shopping arcade and feeling everyone else’s physical pains and difficult emotions as if they were your own.

Finding out that we are HSP or an Empath can feel very enlightening, as if we now grasp why we have found life difficult and felt like an alien in this world. But after this initial euphoria dies down we still have to work out how to live in a meaningful, fulfilling way. This is where I can help as my counselling, mindfulness, coaching and cognitive-behavioural therapy skills can help you find a way forward that works for you.

There are some useful sites that can help you assess yourself to see whether you are HSP or an Empath, together with giving excellent guidance and support in how to live well and thrive with these traits.

• Elaine Aron – https://hsperson.com/
• Highly Sensitive Refuge – https://highlysemsitivierefuge.com/
• How to spot if you are an Empath – https://highlysensitiverefuge.com/empath-signs/
• Judith Orloff – https://drjudithorloff.com/